The fall (1) -English-

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Story written by Violeta Gutiérrez González


Everything’s so quiet there, in those cliffs. The blue sky, covered in orange, pink, violet and yellow tones, is reflected in the sea, practically motionless. The waves that crash against the high cliffs are very subtle, and they hardly make any noise. Some other bird flies over the ground, but almost everything is silent and still.

Sitting on the edge of one of the steep cliffs there’s a girl, with her legs hanging off the precipice, with brown, curly, wavy and long hair, brown eyes with some slightly lighter parts and a little tall. She has her gaze lost in the horizon, in the expanse of water in front of her, that stretches and stretches forward, to the left and to the right until nothing can be seen except the sky and the setting sun.

She knows that what she’s about to do isn’t the best decision. She knows that several acquaintances won’t forgive her. Tears in vain, she convinces herself. She knows it’s not what people would have wanted her to do. She doesn’t have another option, though. Does she really prefer to resign to her usual life? Well no. That’s why it doesn’t matter what few people think or opine. It doesn’t matter. The vast majority has already talked. Well, not talked, but they’ve given her the answer. She already has it clear. There’s no way back now. Soon, life will be indifferent. Nothing will matter. Everything will be over at last, she won’t have any more worries nor ridiculous problems. And, furthermore, she’s sure that she’ll improve the lives of many. Everyone, actually. It doesn’t matter what they say. What matters is what they think. And even though they don’t tell me what they think, it’s clear.

So, yes, it is indeed the best decision in the end. No, there won’t be anyone who won’t want to forgive her, rather they’ll be grateful. And, if someone cries, it will be from emotion and excitement, or just to pretend in front of people, but in solitude they’ll be celebrating.

That’s it. There’s no doubt. What is there to doubt? If she does it, she’ll never have to doubt again, so, ¿why postpone it? At some moment it will happen, in the end. But it’s way better to advance it. She can’t leave the uncertainty of not knowing when it will happen. She has to do it in that moment. And she won’t have any more uncertainties, or anything. That’s the perfect chance. The one she’s been waiting for the longest.

But, yet, she feels that there’s a small part of her that still doesn’t want it to happen, that still clings to that hope which she has been holding hands with for years, but in the end it has been hope itself who let go of it. Hope is already far away, and yet a part of her keeps crawling, thinking that maybe she’ll reach it and be able to grab it again. But those are useless hopes, those that accompany you all your life, but are never true and the only thing they do is hurting you.

She doesn’t have to let that part of her grab back onto the ground when once hope passed. Little by little he wind has already erased the traces, and only those who’ve seen it will remember it. She doesn’t even remember it anymore, nor does she want to. She can’t let a useless thing stop her now. It’s useless. She won’t allow it. It’s all over now. What that hope does is to take past memories, and think that they’ll also be the future ones. It’s a foolish hope, it gives her nothing except more disappointment. And she has enough of that. She has enough of too many things, none very positive.

And yet, with just one internal conversation, her small hopeful part wins a little more time. But not too much now. That part it’s going to give up soon, and even if it doesn’t give up and one of those is her last thought, all of that is so small that it can’t stop her from doing anything.

Finally, she leaves her internal fights. After doing it, there won’t be anymore flights, so there are useless now. She stands up from the cliff, and looks again at the sea. A cormorant flies over her, and seems to give her a reproachful look, but she ignores it. C’mon, it’s not so hard. Do it and that’s it, she insists to herself.

She walks closer to the edge of the cliff, with her toes sticking out, and peers out. More than about forty meters high. It’s perfect. Without any more hesitation, and to leave everything behind at once, she jumps off. 

She knows that everything will be over, at last. All of her problems, her worries, her insecurities, her thoughts… Everything. While she falls, she smiles. At last, everything is going to be over. At least for her.

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